Legend suggests a
wicked Bamborough Queen
cursed her beautiful
step-daughter and turner her
into a dragon.
We should all be concerned when a nurturing mother/queen dies and
replaced with a fearful, jealous, power-hungry woman. This is a story about
the need to restore nurturing, understanding love in the world. This love is
needed today, more than ever!
When
basic needs, such as the feeling of being loved, cared for and special, are unmet, dragon-like qualities
can arise. Those affected are not only the
transformed
princess, but also those who are burned by the dragon's anger (the partner,
the child, the victim of the suicidal terrorist who kills and injures others
as well as themselves).
Even Mother Earth will express her
destructive dragon energy if she is not loved and nurtured (i.e. the
destructive effects of global warming).
The wicked, jealous step-mother
is
driven by fear of being unloved in preference to his beautiful daughter. She
seeks material wealth and power to fulfil her needs. It ultimately doesn't
work and is later turned into a toad.
When a gallant knight
came to kill the dragon,
he saw tears in its
eyes, and he asked why.
Knights normally attempt to slay dragons to
protect the community.
It's dangerous work and a noble quest.
The knights of old were not only brave and strong but also had powerful morals and
values.
Skilful warriors are trained to carefully observe their 'opponent' and to
also see their greatness.
(the dragon is also the symbol on the knight's shield - eg a mother
protecting her child...)
This knight shines in his ability to first
see the tears and then to
inquire about them.
Remember, this is a monster who had created famine & disaster .
Would you have the courage, wisdom and skill to do this?
The dragon said she
needed a kiss - three in fact -
so she could be
transformed into a princess.
As with most curses, there is way to lift them.
Underneath anger is often hurt (&/or
frustration, fear).
The cure for hurt is not more hurt. More hurt feeds the dragon's anger &
makes it bigger.
The cure is compassion and understanding. Difficult when facing a dragon,
but possible.
When carefully asked, the dragon was able to express her needs.
He did so and thus the
dragon was changed into a princess.
This was such a huge, brave, extraordinary act.
The Knight is facing a scary monster he's been trained to kill.
(We've also been conditioned to fight back and/or defend ourselves - this
feels intuitively right)
He had to put down his sword (give up
reactive aggression/violence),
Expose himself through his armour (expose his vulnerability),
Be led by a much higher value rather than reacting,
And kiss the fire-breathing, murderous dragon
(show compassion).
He chose love instead of fear.
This is how miracles
are created
It worked !! (you can see
the transformed princess in the third part of the picture and the knight riding with her
to the castle.
It takes a skilful, courageous and values led
hero to
transform a dragon into a princess...
An old story for a new
age
We need a new mythology for today.
Today's prevailing myth is about a hero (often
a man) who fights the dragon (enemy) to save the population and maybe
a damsel in distress. This often ends up in lots of pain and blood (the
dragons, the heroes & innocent bystanders).
This remarkable, alternative myth is about making peace
with the dragon and even embracing it.
It requires a different type of hero. One who can break out of conditioned
responses. One who is a skilled observer and communicator, has strong values
and the courage to follow through even in the face of danger and in
opposition to societal norms.
It's not a soft option. Taking on dragons is dangerous work, especially if
you step outside of your armour.
To understand more about the strength
required for this type of approach, click here.
In relationships
with self it means connecting
and owning your own fears, hurts and frustrations and being compassionate
with yourself. Nurture yourself, particularly in those ways you may have
missed when younger or in your present relationship/s
- remind yourself often of your special
qualities and greatness
- treat your physical self well -
give it loving home, good friends, good food, exercise and clothes
- connect with your core values and
identify your unique life purpose
- connect with your spirituality, the interconnection
between all things, those things which take you beyond the 'self'.
In relationships
with others it means being empathic with your partner or others
you're working with when he/she is yelling at you or being dragon-like with
you. Be prepared to say sorry if appropriate.
How
to do empathy in the face of anger
Make a conscious decision to follow a higher relationship values of mutual
respect, understanding, compassion and conflict resolution
Take a break to calm your own emotions - come back when you're more
peaceful and powerful
Focus on the other person and reflect back the content of what they're
saying (paraphrasing or repeating) as well as the emotional content.
Reflect back and summarise their point of view so they know you fully
understand where they are coming from.
Don't defend yourself against verbal attacks or counter attack. Just hear
and understand their position to the point where you can honestly say, even
if you don't agree "I understand how you can be feeling like this".
Only now should you ask them if you can express your side. Ask them to
listen to you in the way you listened to them.
Then look for common ground and keep in mind the purpose of the discussion -
what will be achieved when resolved.
When done well, conflict can bring people closer together with increased
mutual understanding and respect.
How
to do 'sorry' in the face of anger
"I
can see you're very angry at me and I'm so sorry if this is because I've let
you down..." ...
"I'm so sorry I've carelessly (or accidentally)
hurt you and our relationship - can I make it up to you somehow?"
"I can see you're angry, I'd like to really understand and to
help"
(Don't justify of explain away the hurt. First apply some 1st aid to the fabric
of the relationship. This is done by listening to the emotional content and
tending to that before any logic.
Once emotional hurt has been attended to, only then should you provide explanations....)
Click here for more on how to 'do' sorry...
For governments
it means really working hard to understand why extremist groups and
governments would want to
attack - to own and apologise for wrongs those people perceive, to offer
some compensation and hope rather than to counter-attack or have a
pre-emptive strike.
Formal apologies can do wonders. (It's always possible to find something to say
sorry for in a conflict if you are willing to seek it out - click here
for more on the power of sorry).
In the full story of Laidley Worm, the
wicked queen tries at least twice to sabotage the peace efforts. But she and
those she rallies are no match for the commitment of the knight.
Transformation eventually comes from the knight who set out to kill the
dragon.
Israel and Egypt did this 25 years ago.
Remarkably, these two nations have since maintained peace.
This peace deal was made
only a few years after a terrible and bloody war on both sides. Both leaders
at the time had to face their dragon and transform it. They shared the Nobel
Peace prize.
This is not hypothetical dream or story. It's real and just one example of
what's already been
achieved in our living history.
Unfortunately, successful peace
deals, particularly those which have stood the test of time, are not very newsworthy.
How many news items or stories have you seen about this remarkable, enduring
peace between Israel and its former Arab enemy (or the long-standing peace
between Israel & Jordan)?
It's time for each of us to learn and
practise the wisdom of this 13 Century myth.
Spread the word. Spread the love. Replace love with fear.
